Sharing your feelings
Talking to children and young people
Spiritual care
Coming to the end of life is a natural part of ageing and of chronic progressive disease at any age. It’s normal to experience a variety of emotions at this time – not just for the person directly affected, but for family and friends too.
The feelings you experience can range from anger, despair, fear and anxiety to peace, acceptance and tranquillity. We don’t all feel the same way – you’re likely to experience a variety of emotions at different times.
It can be difficult to talk about your feelings at the end of life. But talking about your emotions can play an important part in helping you make sense of the situation. Some people find it helpful to talk to family and friends about their worries, fears or hopes. Others prefer to talk to a doctor, nurse, social worker or counsellor. There is also a list of organisations that can offer you support in the Further Information section.
If you find talking about your feelings too difficult, you may want to express yourself in a different way. You may choose to share your feelings by writing a diary, story or letter, or recording a message.
You may be afraid to talk about the end of life with children or grandchildren, but remember, they may want to express their thoughts and feelings about what is happening too.
Younger children may have questions about what is happening and what will happen in the future. They may want to know who will look after them and what will happen at the funeral and can they be involved? Take time to reassure them and offer any emotional support they need. Don’t be afraid to ask for help either – there may well be local childhood bereavement services you can use (see Further Information).
We all have our own unique spiritual needs, or questions about the meaning of our lives. If you are religious, the traditions of a church or faith system can offer welcome support. Talking about your beliefs or thoughts with a faith leader or friends and family can be of great benefit.
For others, spirituality is a less formal process and may simply involve thinking about your past and future. You may wish to discuss and think about questions such as “Why has this happened to me?”, or “What happens next?” Once again, talking about these issues can be of great help.
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Last medically reviewed: December '08